undercover
by uchronie
Summary: Spock is on an undercover mission on the Enterprise to report on the dysfunctions of the ship, that are said the result of James Kirk's poor leadership... (Just for fun, not a serious fic AT ALL) Spirk / OC / genderbent-Scotty / mostly Spock POV
1. David Walding

At the moment Spock stepped in front of the mirror and looked at his reflection, two thoughts emerged from his mind. The first being that he hardly recognized himself and, to be honest, looked like a complete moron; and the second that he maybe had come too far in his engagement in Starfleet to accept taking part in such… inanities. But, he had to admit, taking aside the ridiculous ginger hair-dye, fuzzy haircut and false beard, it was probably a good idea. Probably the only way to truly know what was going on, or rather what was going _wrong_ , with the Enterprise and its crew theses days. For once, he wanted to go check for himself, be where all the action was, instead of handling problems from afar, in big offices with many glass panels. He liked to think he hadn't give up the career of a scholar to be yet another jumping jack of logic, organization and common sense, but because he strived for a life that was more fresh, unpredictable and unsettled.

He was interrupted in his thoughts by a muffled laugh coming from the other side of the room, and turned his head with his signature suspicious look. Of course it was Dox, or as Spock called him in his mind "bloody Bolian fuckboy". Of course he was here to see him looking stupid. Though they constantly fought and mocked each other ever since they had been affected to the same service at Spock's arrival in Starfleet headquarters, they both had developed at the same time a strange fondness for one another. Spock hated his incomprehensible sense of humor so much that his liking for him often felt like the weird relief following the slight pain of scab-picking.

"Looking great…" he read something on his PADD "...David Walding" he laughed "They literally gave you the most stupid name ever in addition to the most stupid haircut ever."

"Actually, it is quite an average Human name and haircut, they have been statistically calculated so that I don't appear suspicious and…"

"They didn't give you instructions on human humor apparently though. Be careful, _that_ could definitely be suspicious." he walked towards him and added, hardly serious "Just laugh when they say something in a high-pitched voice, that's when they're trying to be funny. Statistically."

Spock, knowing Dox's fascination and extended practical knowledge of the human species, took the advice very seriously, though it was not meant to, and thanked him with a slight head nod, turning away from the mirror. He did not really plan to play pretend, and just figured that saying nothing and staying in the background was enough to get a good observation of the problems within the vessel. He was to report about them everyday to Dox, who would report to higher authorities that would address the issues. Spock didn't yet realize that keeping quiet and not acting on anything was going to be the hardest part of the mission for him. No, actually, that he realized fourty-two minutes and fifty seconds later that day, when, after embarking and looking around for a bit, he first encountered the man which he was to keep the closest watch on : James Kirk. He couldn't find a better adjective than wanton to describe the sight of his tangled light-brown hair and rather smelly breath both leaning over two crew ladies with very telling red cheeks. Every inch of Spock's body was, at this moment, almost shivering with irritation for the man which seemed to have gorged on all the possible depravity of mankind. He had stopped in the middle of the hallway, staring deadly at Kirk, who did not see him until a mysterious force, probably the sentiment of being watched, made him turn his eyes towards the red-headed man.

"Are you the new tech guy ? David, right ?" he said, so casually that it irritated Spock even more so, if that was even possible, and he made a real effort to nod calmly and avoid saying anything.

He flirtatiously and unashamedly sent away the two women, muttering to them things that Spock found so ridiculous and shady he would've rather have his ears cut off than hear them ever again. He tried hard not to cough to call an end to this… joke. It was at this moment Spock knew it was going to be very difficult to remain for three entire months the quiet audience of the ridiculous show this man was pulling off. Probably an impossible job. At last - finally - they walked away and Kirk turned to Spock with an annoying grin on his face.

"Well, I guess I can show you around the ship, if that's alright with you ?"

Spock nodded and kept silent. He knew the map of the ship by heart though, who did he take him for exactly ? But at least he could have an overview of how well the maintenance was made and what areas of the vessel were the most… problematic ones.

"We should start by the the lounge rooms, you look like you need some fun and relaxing, no offense." Kirk said, in a high-pitched voice that automatically made Spock force a laugh just like Dox advised him.

He had the weirdest way of laughing, so forced and unnatural it was almost surreal. After all, laughing was a surreal thing for someone of his nature. Apparently surprised, Kirk smiled and raised an eyebrow at him, then shrugged and kept walking. Spock thought he really had to work on the awkwardness of his interactions with humans if he wanted them to believe he was one of them for several weeks.


	2. The Fidger Spinnet

DISCLAIMER (before you continue)

Yes, this is fic is stupid, it actually started as a joke, it's neither meant to be a well-written fic, nor to be a cute Spirk love story (even though I'm trying, sometimes).

I didn't originally start writing this to post it publicly, this is why there might be some inside jokes and various inaccuracies.

I'm not an English native speaker at all (I am French), barely fluent in English, and the chapters are not proofread by anyone else than me. In consequence, there are probably mistakes and weird wordings, which I am sorry for.

The two-hour visit of the vessel felt to Spock like a journey through the nine circles of hell. At every floor, at every room, he thought the dysfunctions and overall disrespect of every one of Starfleet's directives couldn't get worse, yet it did in the next one. At every minute, he also thought James Kirk couldn't draw further away from his brink of tolerance of stupidity and lust, yet he did the next minute. Aside from his habit of patting everyone on ship on the shoulder, making ridiculous unfunny jokes about the names of the rooms and flirting with every crew member that remotely resembled a human female, he also constantly twiddled a weird red plastic object, with three small branches, that rotated very fast. Spock had to restrain himself from eyeing at it all the time. He also had to restrain himself from asking about it to the "captain" , because he hoped that if he just ignored it he would simply put it away at one point. Which he didn't, obviously.

Needless to say it was really hard for Spock to keep quiet and continue with the visit in the most casual way. His insides were boiling with rebukes. He only managed to hold back everything because he knew he could just spit it out to Dox later that day. Every single breach was filed in his mind; which meant that, at the end of the visit, his head would've had exploded if he had been a regular human. Luckily he was not, and managed at last to get to the commanding room looking relatively calm. There he met with the main crew, which did not pay much attention to him (after all, he was just a very plain and quiet human tech guy) but flooded Kirk with questions right away. They pretty much all seemed to really like the guy, whether or not they were humans, a fact that really blew Spock's mind (and that was really not an easy thing to do). But after a few thoughts, he figured there were two logical explanations for this : either they were all as ridiculous as him and therefore liked his sense of humor and shared his view of life, a possibility that felt very scary to him ; or he was manipulating them one way or the other. Then it struck him. The red thing. Was it having an hypnotizing effect on others that made them do whatever he wanted ? And maybe it just didn't work on Vulcans ?

"David" hadn't really said anything for two hours except "ok", sometimes, but mostly he just nodded. Therefore Kirk felt very surprised when he heard his voice behind his back while he was chatting with a man named Tchekhov, who was apparently his "main tech guy" but his position was not clear with the rules really like most people's on this vessel to be honest.

"What is that thing ?" he had said, in a very serious tone

"What thing ?" Kirk answered immediately, frowning at him, then looking at his hand "Oh, that ? You've never seen one of these ? It's called a fidger spinnet. It's an antique."

Chekov started laughing and shook his head looking at Spock. Kirk caught him and looked pissed. It suddenly felt like he was taking the subject very seriously, which to Spock was suspicious, but also strange since at this point he really didn't think the man was able to take anything seriously.

"My grandad gave it to me, ok ?"

Spock didn't really know what to think of all of this, but Tchekhov and the other crew members that were around started giggling more and more loudly. Kirk really didn't seem happy about it. It was quite problematic because it nullified Spock's second hypothesis, which meant the first one was most probably, and sadly, the truth. Nevertheless, it was the first moment he felt a glimpse of sympathy for Kirk, who was standing in the middle of everyone mocking his apparently very precious little object. This ended pretty fast when he commanded in a strong voice :

"STOP !"

He waited for silence for a moment, then proceeded.

"Starting now, if anyone makes any kind of remark about my fidger spinnet or my Shrek slippers or about any of my belongings, they will get fired when we return, and until then sent to the hold."

It was quite a sight : everyone quickly returned to their occupations as if the conversation never occurred, only slightly eyeing in Kirk's direction as if to check he wasn't that pissed. Even Tchekhov now looked deeply into his screen as if he wished to get swallowed by it. Spock thought that, at least, the "captain" had the authority to command. If only it was directed towards actual commandment…

As soon as Spock had closed the door of his room behind him, he rushed towards the first thing he found to sat on and proceeded to call Dox immediately. It was a bit early in the day, but considering the amount of things he had to report to him, it probably wouldn't be enough if they spent two full days in communication anyway.

"Agent Dox ?"

"How is it going, Spock ?"

"No time for chatting. Record everything. Multiple infractions of articles 455, 785 and 632 of the Starfleet Code. Major maintenance issues in areas 45-B, 89-XT and…"

A few moments later.

"Spock…"

"Code of Conduct for the Captain article 8 paragraphs 45 to 63 and 78 to 82, then Code of…"

"Spock !"

"What ?"

"I need to go, the office is closing. Get back to me tomorrow."

"Fine, fine…"

"Talk to you lat…"

"Wait, Dox ?"

"Yeah ?"

"I'm not going to survive for three weeks."

He just laughed and hung up as an answer.


	3. The Eggplant Emoji

An immense ball of fire was rushing towards the ship. Every face was colored in shimmeringorange, and fear could be read in everyone's eyes as they tried to figure out the best way out of this with the less damage.

"Where is Captain Kirk ?" Spock heard himself say out loud.

There was no answer. Nobody was moving, or doing anything to escape the situation. The ball of fire was approaching.

"Where is he ?" he finally shouted.

As nobody answered, he sprang towards the various computers, running between them, trying his best to save what could be saved. He was not panicking, for he did not fear for hislife, and because he knew panic would gravely affect his judgement. Nothing he did had any effect on the ship's trajectory. The temperature was rising. At one point, the computers started to melt, as everything around them, crew members included. Spock tried to shake them but they looked like dolls, like they were alive but under a strange spell that had frozen their brain. He suddenly felt an indescriptible pain going through his body. He lowered his eyes, only to see his hands were melting, forming a small beige puddle on the floor. A few seconds after that, it was his feet, and the rest of his arms. He fell on the floor and resolved to let himself die, watching the fire, everything around him slowly melting and forming an ocean of various colors. At last, Spock heard the door open behind him and forced himself to move his head, in a last hope to be saved. James Kirk was standing there, though he had mid-long hair, a beard and wore only underwears. He extended his hand to Spock, with a wonderful smile on his face.

Spock woke up with a distressed looked on his face. He rarely dreamt. And even when he did, he was usually too logical, even in his dreams, not to find out by himself it was not real while he was in it. This time, it was different, he had believed the situation, like a fool. But why? He believed the problems aboard the Enterprise had put him under way more stress then he usually handled in his boring daily life tasks. Maybe that was it. That was probably it. Even if it did not explain the last part of his dream, which was unappropriately foolish for someonelike him.

"Walding? Walding!"

It took him a moment to rise his head, because he had to recognize his fake name and also because he was thinking again about his dream from the night before. Also, he didn't really care much about his tech work, manual work wasn't really his thing and it was just a cover anyway, he didn't have to get too involved in it.

The voice calling him belonged to a human female, head engineer, who bore the name of Ally Scott. She was statistically shorter than the norm, but everything else about her physical appearance was rather average, brown eyes with a nice spark to them, dark brown hair in a messy ponytail.Every time she was called by someone on board about fixing a small issue, she started almost running all around the room, adjusting buttons in a crazy speed, and humming a tune that Spock could not make out. When something didn't go the way she wanted it to, she usually insulted the thing - may it be a crew member, or a button, or a computer - in a very vulgar yet original fashion. Spock tried to work at least a bit, but he was often captivated by her little show. At one point he started suspecting her of knowing he watched and exaggerating it like she had found an audience. She had tried to make conversation, the first hour maybe, but found herself in front of a wall of quiet. But now, there she was calling him about something, what he had feared all day.

"Walding? Are ya off yer heid?"

He didn't know what the heck she could mean by that. He flushed, and could only answer :

"Hm, yes I am?"

She looked at him very weirdly.

"You're nawt some kind of bawheid are ya?"

He took a deep breath and looked at her with distress. Had Dox put him with this work partner intentionally to get a good laugh ?

"I don't know… I… I'm fine?"

She had this weird look on her face again and then started laughing, so loudly Spock tilted his head back at first. He had to admit the whole situation was quite amusing, and that put a small grin on his face. She seemed to be content to see him smile, satisfied. She went back to typing some sort of message on her computer. It was some sort of code, probably, because there were pictures instead of words. There was a face with a smile and tears in its eyes, then a star, then an eggplant, then a sun with eyes on it, then a cute cat face. She had a little laugh and sent it. Spock broke his silence, too curious not to ask.

"Who are you sending these to?"

She turned around in her chair.

"Jim."

He looked puzzled for a moment.

"Jim, the captain? You mean you and the captain discuss with emojis?"

"Yeah."

He felt like it was another dimension. A dimension where very important tech crew that was supposed to keep the ship safe and communicate very precisely with the commanding officers were instead sending eggplant emojis to them. This mission was starting to feel really surreal to him. As now he started asking questions, he could not retain another, that wasrelated to his limited knowledge of the emoji language.

"Are you… Do you engage in any… intimate encounters… with the captain?"

She laughed for a moment. She seemed to find the idea very odd, but also quite amusing.

"Naw." She ended up saying, looking straight at Spock with a mischievous spark to her eyes.

"Ok." He said, hardly hiding his relief. Actually, he felt way more relieved than he ought to be.

"But I would…" She added, making Spock frown. "If this wank had chebs."

She laughed again, and Spock forced a smile though he did not exactly understand what she had just meant by that. He would ask Dox later. He was very keen on human dialects, it was like a hobby to him. Spock did his best to at least look like he was working all day.

Sometimes, he helped Ally on things, but mostly she looked like she prefered, and was used to, work alone. Or she just thought David was a bit of a dummy. At the end of the day watch, he went back to his quarters in quite the hurry. Once again, he had quite a lot to report to Dox. Unfortunately, he met with the captain in the hallway, an event he had been quite happy to avoid all day. He could still picture him with a beard and in his underwears, which made it quite difficult to concentrate.

"Hi, new guy."

"It's Walding, captain." Spock answered, in quite a cold tone that he immediately bewailed.

In his position, he could not possibly speak like that to him, it was a mistake. He could not let his disdain for the man and his actions leak through his cover. His eyes were fixed on the thing spinning between Kirk's finger. He really could not bare this thing. But really, Kirk did not seem to care about his tone, he just grinned.

"Yeah, Walding. A bunch of us are having food and a movie during swing shift tomorrow. Care to come? If you're off duty of course. But I can put you off duty if needed."

So he could just put random people off duty for the excuse of watching a movie? And also, when did he command if he was watching movies during swing shifts, sending emojis duringday shifts and sleeping with crew members during night shifts?

"Hm, I'm not sure it's a good…"

"Come on, it'll be fun! You really look like you need fun, Walding."

"I…"

"Come and then I won't bother you again. Do we have a deal?"

He lent his hand out towards him and Spock looked at it for a second. Well, he knew he had to do this at some point. It was essential to his cover. Humans did this all the time, shaking hands in a friendly way. So he tried not to look weird and shook Kirk's hand, trying to act like it was a casual thing for him, even though inside it felt weird and intimate. As soon as Kirk let go of his hand and walked away satisfied, Spock flushed and rushed to lock himself in his quarters. Never again, he could never do this again. It was totally inappropriate. He waited until the uneasy feeling went away to call Dox.

"Agent Dox?"

"How is it going, Spock?"

"No time for chatting…"


	4. Blending in ?

Spock took a deep breath. He had to play it smooth on this one. He was the worst at that, therefore he wished good luck to himself, even though he knew such a thing as luck didn't exist. He estimated at 62% the chance of something going wrong in that encounter. Great. He entered the medical bay.

A dark-haired man who did not at all look like a doctor slided over in an office chair with caster wheels, looking like Spock had interrupted him in the middle of something. His uniform did indicate he was indeed a doctor.

"Hi, what can I do for you?" he asked him

"Hello." Spock answered, measuring his words. "I was wondering if you could help me..."

"Well that's kinda my job yeah, you can cut to the point."

"I've been having these dreams…"

"Are they about that brunette from the bio lab? Because me too…" he laughed

"No?"

Spock frowned, but it was the only sign of irritation he allowed himself to have.

"Do you have anything to block dreams?" he declared with a serious tone

"Well… what's your name ?"

"Walding. David Walding."

"Well, Walding. Everyone dreams. It's human to dream."

Yes, it's _human_. Why did that part of him suddenly start bothering him about dreams now when it never had before ?

"You can't just swallow a pill to stop them."

Then his idea of coming here had been useless. He still thought there could be a chance he would be able to do something about that. He figured some of the crew members came back from complicated missions with traumatizing images that didn't go away and probably haunted their dreams in some way. Therefore he thought there could be some sort of treatment. He didn't answer anything and simply nodded, thinking he should get to the tech room and forget about it. He had been having the same horrible dream two nights in a row and felt like it wasn't over.

"Are they really bad dreams?"

"Endangered ship. Fire. Pain."

Undressed captain.

"Oh. These ones."

"Are they frequent on the ship?" he asked, out of sheer curiosity

"I wouldn't say that. For some people in particular they are."

He wanted to ask for who but he felt the man wouldn't answer.

"Ask yourself why you have them and try deconstructing them. Relax before bed, do something fun to change your mind. If they aren't away in a few weeks come back here." he advised

The doctor had gone from light-hearted to slightly concerned. Though Spock felt he wasn't worried about him but about someone else with a similar problem that he had just reminded him.

"Fine then. Thank you for your time, Doctor… ?"

"McCoy."

He had said that with a smile. He found this Walding guy a bit…weird, and stuck-up. There wasn't a lot of people like that around here. They had been on this ship for two years now and people were at ease with each other. This guy was probably new.

Spock gave him a sight serious nod and left the room.

* * *

"Ya gaun t'night?" Scott asked, later that day

Spock, or rather Walding, slightly lifted his head from the computer and seemed to take a moment, then went back to looking at the computer.

"I guess yes."

"Ye don't seem excited." she said, turning to raise an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not."

"How come ye gaun, then ?

"I promised our captain to go."

She had a little laugh. She was about to say something but it started ringing and a red dot popped on her screen.

"Shite. Breach on level 4, tunnel A-502."

She started for the door. Spock didn't move, he supposed she wanted to handle this by herself like she had done the previous day.

"Shift yer bahookie Walding." she said to him, impatiently, before leaving the room.

Spock gazed at the door, puzzled, for a second, then decided the highest probability was that she had just asked him to come, and followed her. After walking through a few hallways, they engaged in a darker part of the ship. Spock knew what is was for, how it was conceived, but he'd never actually gone. He had to admit there was a bit of a thrill to that. He did not try to share that feeling with his colleague, because it was daily life for her and she probably wouldn't care, but also because he had already observed her behavior very well and knew she had two radically different moods : on the one hand joking, smiling and, well, vulgar, on the other deeply-concentrated-if-you-say-a-word-to-me-I'll-cut-your-throat. And judging by her silence and clenched fist there was no doubt she was currently in the second one.

Finally, they engaged in the problematic tunnel. She seemed to be looking for a particular spot, as her gaze went a few times between her portable device hand the walls around. The tunnel was very poorly lit up and one could say it created a rather gloomy atmosphere. At one point she stopped to look at something like an electric switchboard, but Spock continued walking a few meters, curiously looking all around, pretending he was inspecting or something of the sort. He was passing under one of the pipes when it suddenly burst into an enormous spurt of liquid which hit his head and face so hard he fell ridiculously on his bum.

"Walding !"

Scott was walking towards him looking pissed off.

"Fuck ye dain ?"

She looked like she was about to scold a child. And Spock really thought she was going to. But something else had catched her intention and she suddenly frowned and kept her mouth open for an instant. Spock hadn't hurt himself, he had simply made a total fool of himself, and also his hair and face were soaked with a liquid that smelled weird and itched a bit. He got up and tried to recover a bit of dignity by getting some of the liquid away from his face with his sleeve.

"What's it with yer heid ?"

"Nothing, just this... "

That's when he noticed. Trying to wipe some of the liquid off his shoulder, he saw that there were drops on it. They were of orange color. It was his hair dye. Which was highly waterproof so what was this liquid, some kind of acid ? As an immediate reaction, he touched his ears, hoping the fake ones were still there but it was already too late. The brunette was picking up something from the ground. He could have explained the hair, he knew some humans dyed them for beauty reasons, but the ears... he was fucked. No other words. There was not any lie that had a decent level of logical plausibility, and she was a very clever woman. He had kept it hidden for three earth days. Three. He was probably going to lose his position. But it was his fault, after all, he had not done well at his job, he deserved it. She clenched her fists and looked at him. The slight anger she had demonstrated quickly faded away, replaced by curiosity and suspicion.

"Who are ye?"

Spock felt there was no use lying at this point. He cleared his throat and joined his hands behind his back.

"Commander Spock. I work for Federation Central."

A cold shiver seem to go through Scott at the two words.

"I'm an inspector. The Federation has been very worried about the unstable activities of the Enterprise since Captain James Kirk took command two years ago. They needed proof and insight on the situation on board. That is why I have been sent here under a false identity."

She still didn't say anything.

"From what I have seen, they are not worried without reason."

Scott lifted her eyebrows like she was offended.

"I do not say this for you, chief engineer Ally Scott, I believe you are a very strong asset to this ship and I have reported that also."

The tone of his voice had been different. More like himself, maybe. Also, he held a superior position on that situation, and not just administratively.

"Thank ye. I guess." Scott said, apparently not knowing exactly how to react to that revelation.

"I understand if you decide to tell your Captain about me, you would only be following your duty."

"But ye are also following yer duty, Commander."

"You are right."

"This is too funny as it is to tell."

"Excuse m…"

"A Vulcan from Federation Central pretending to be a fuckin bampot aff a human cadet in front aff Jim's face."

She started laughing loudly. Spock hardly understood the reasons for it and kept still. Then she stopped and tapped her hand on his wet shoulder affectionately.

"Nae, nawt telling. Too guid like this."

Now, that wasn't what he had expected at all. And it meant she could reveal his cover to everyone at any moment she wanted. At least she didn't try to blackmail him. It would've been useless anyway, these three days had already given his service enough information to get Captain Kirk out if they wanted. He liked his experience here, in a way, away from the boring day-to-day office life at Central, but it would have to end anyway, tomorrow or in six months it didn't make enough difference for him to care.

* * *

"New guy!"

Kirk went towards Spock as soon as he had passed through the lounge room door. The lights were tamed and people were discussing and drinking in small groups. The Captain seemed genuinely happy to see him, even though he still didn't call him by his name. Or maybe he didn't remember it? Spock didn't exactly understand why or how the man had developed this fondness for him, since he had barely said ten words to him. He had to admit the behavior of James Kirk was quite the mystery to him. Though he didn't admit he liked that about him.

"Good evening, Captain." he greeted respectably

"God, call me Jim. Everyone does."

"I am not sure."

"Call me Jim and I'll call you Dave." Kirk said with a grin.

So he did know his name.

"I am not sure I want you to call me that." He answered in a serious tone.

Kirk started laughing and took him by the shoulders to guide him through the room, pointing discreetly at people and telling him their names and sometimes some kind of anecdote about them. Spock had to admit he found impressive how he knew his crew so well and how he seemed to like everyone in here in their own way, but also how he made a point to get him, the new guy, to blend in with everyone. He would make sure to report about that. That was not what could save his case but… Wait, why did he suddenly thought about saving his case?

"Don't you want to know what we're watching?" Kirk asked him at one point, when he seemed to have finished with the presentation.

"Of course."

Spock had said that out of pure politeness, and need to appear normal, but frankly, he didn't care.

"It's set in like 2150 so it's like vintage and stuff. And you follow that couple from like teenage years to adult life. A lot of stuff happens, funny stuff, also she ends up living like so far away and it's not like they had transporters back then or anything, but they always still think about each other. It's pretty romantic."

Judging from how Spock had seen him act with the two women on his first day, he didn't really believe him to be of the romantic type.

"Looks like it is." he just said, not really knowing what to answer.

"Pretty stupid if you ask me, but making fun of it is mostly why I like it."

There it was. What could he discuss though ? How fascinating it was how stories, roleplay and, yes, romantic films played a significant role in human mating and the perpetuation of the species ? That's what he would have said, usually, but he had his cover. Also, he would probably have been boring.

"You know, I like you Walding. You're a good guy. You're gonna love it here." Kirk said, tapping his shoulder with a wide smile before leaving him in front of the buffet.

Spock felt a bit bad about having to lie to him, for an instant. He barely had any friends back at the Federation Bureaus, except for Dox maybe but Dox was friends with everyone so did that count? Anyways, as silly as it sounded in his head, it felt nice to have someone liking him. He did not like _him_ though, but his fake identity, which was another issue.

* * *

Spock didn't really like movies. He didn't understand what was so enjoyable about them. He had a hard time enjoying fiction in general. He did found interesting the effect storytelling had on people. Some of them believed in what stories teached them more that in what logic teached them, even the most skilled engineers and scientists. That power was both fascinating and dangerous.

The film was ending. But people hadn't really been watching so much, some had been talking the whole time on another side of the room, others engaging in…various preliminary acts of human sexual arousal socially and publicly acceptable. Meaning human kisses. Spock was sitting on a chair near a wall. He was highly uncomfortable in such social settings and he had no way of getting drunk to forget how uncomfortable it was. Which was torture. He had been offered a few drinks and had discussed with a few people, but he saw very well they found him weird, and as the night went on the fact that he was sober made it difficult to properly communicate with anyone. It felt like they were on a different dimension. This weird feeling had occupied his thoughts more than the fact that all of these people were drinking on duty for no particular reason or event. He thought maybe it wouldn't be suspicious to leave, now that the movie was over. He had stayed for a while and pretended to fit in. It was enough.

"Fuck off Jim!"

The exclamation had emerged from a darker side of the room. Spock had gotten up by instinct. A very good looking male yeoman hurried towards the door, his face entirely red with rage. Everyone looked at him as he left the room, then all the eyes turned to the other side of the room. To Kirk. He didn't display any sign of unease, which was very impressive to Spock. The man could keep an act. Instead, he had put his hands in front of him in a gesture of reassurance and had advanced to the center of the room.

"It's fine. No biggie. Everyone get back to having fun, ok?"

Spock looked puzzled. That guy Chekov from the first day was near him, on his right, also looking at Jim. He momentarily turned to Spock.

"Zat vas Hamza. Good kid." he said quietly, like he was confessing a secret.

Spock assumed he was talking about the yeoman. He didn't ask further information, but apparently Chekov was going to tell him anyway.

"He has zis huge crush on Jim."

He wanted to think he couldn't care less about hearsays, but strangely he was curious as to why the young man would cause a scene. He thought it could help solving the enigma that was the Captain to him.

"And? Why is he like this?" Spock asked, seeing Chekov apparently needed a push to reveal more, like an old lady spreading rumors at the hairdresser.

"Apparently zey slept together and…"

Chekov stopped as Jim was coming towards them with a suspicious look on his face.

"Blabbing about me Chekov?"

"No, I…"

"You shouldn't listen to him, Dave, he's just having his revenge because I crushed him at the chess tournament."

Spock raised an eyebrow. Romantic movies. Chess. Shrek slippers. How all of this could melt into a single man was a definite mystery.

"Do you play chess, Dave?" suddenly asked Jim, turning to him

He wanted to say he used to be president of the chess club at the Academy but who knows, that could spoil his cover. Also, he desperately wanted him to stop calling him Dave, but he already knew it was too late.

"I do, in fact. And I have to say in all modesty I am quite the player, Captain."

A wide smile appeared on Jim's face.

"We'll see about that. Tomorrow, night shift, my quarters."

Spock frowned and was a bit surprised at this very sudden offer. Chekov had a little laugh that said a lot about the ambiguity of the proposition. Or said a lot about the fact that both men had had a bit too much to drink.

"And it's Jim." He said, pointing a finger at him before leaving the room.


	5. A Meeting

A meeting.

Three weeks later.

Spock didn't know why he had been asked to join the officer's meeting this day, considering his rank, but he was quite satisfied. It was an unique occasion to see how they were done, if they were done according to the rules. Though from what he had seen so far, he could already assume without much doubt that they weren't. When he entered the officer's meeting room, which consisted of a large table and a few chairs, he stood in a corner and waited patiently. Jim was sitting on one side of the table, with his feet crossed on it, eating bright coloured sweets that looked like weird bubbles and discussing, or more precisely laughing, with Chekov. If he heard right, Jim was giving him a very solid impression of Dr McCoy which he found hilarious. Spock surprisingly found himself thinking the Captain beautiful. Blossoming. Like something about him felt right at that particular moment. Thank god he was stopped from diving deeper into his thoughts when most of the other officers entered the room and the meeting started.

"Okay, let's start." said Jim, his feet now off the table but his metal thing spinning in his hand. God how Spock hated that thing. "Next week is the chess tournament, and I would take charge as usual but, who knows, I could die on tomorrow's mission and the tournament cannot be cancelled." He laughed. "And by the way please don't get me killed just so you can win this time, right, Chekov?" He laughed again turning to him, then turned back to the others. "So who wants to do it?"

A dark-haired woman raised her hand. He shrugged.

"Fine, okay, thank you, moving on. What movie for Saturday's movie night? Please let's get a little more crazy guys because romantic flicks and awful comedies are killing me."

It looked more like a middle school class presidents meeting than a Starfleet crew officers meeting. Spock didn't say anything of course. He wasn't even sitting at the table, he was still standing behind them in a corner. After all, he had no reason to be here. The subjects tackled were more trivial than he could have ever thought. But after all, nothing thrilling seemed to happen on this ship, so maybe they simply had no other matter to discuss. And it was probably not the end, as Dox had said to Spock that, considering the state of things here, they were planning on retrieving most missions from Kirk's command in the months to come.

"Dave." Kirk said suddenly, causing the entire table to turn to Spock, well, to David.

"Walding. Yes, Captain?" He kept trying to correct him but it had no effect really.

"You're probably wondering why you're here."

"I am, indeed."

He suddenly seemed serious. Did he know anything? How could it be? They had been spending some…quite lovely evenings together discussing various topics and he hadn't seemed to suspect anything. Which was an achievement considering Spock found it so hard to lie that he said the truth every chance he could, a truth that rarely complied with his fake identity.

"I want you with me on the mission tomorrow."

The room suddenly seemed to freeze. Spock was about to answer when a blonde woman with short hair got up from her chair.

"No way. He's a cadet."

"I need an engineer. From what we've gathered yesterday there seems to be a lot of electronic activity going on there." Kirk said, calmly.

"There's plenty of skilled engineers on this ship Jim, come on."

"I trust him."

If only he knew how wrong he was. Everyone was now staring at Spock. He cleared his throat in a very human manner.

"She's right, I am not qualified. It's against the rules. If something happened to me and the Federation hea…"

"Who cares about the Federation?"

That question would be on his report tonight and that would really not help his case. Spock knew he had to refuse, but he was too curious, he wanted to go on that mission, the proposition had awoken some adventurous side of him that he didn't really know he had. He made the excuse to himself that the Federation would love to hear about how the Captain handled field missions, casual exploration ones at least. He had no experience at all, and though he had very extensive knowledge of science and technology, he could only pretend he was a trained engineer. He didn't know how far his skills would go, especially under rush or stress. Also, his cover would be in great danger. It was only a very elaborate makeup and wig, after all, it could resist everyday ship life but if any more "movement" happened, great troubles were ahead for him. He found himself thinking he could use Dox's advice on the matter, which surprised him, but he was alone in that room and he had to make a decision.

"Captain, could I have a word in private please?"

He looked straight at him, trying to forget about the entire room of officers looking at the both of us like they were a duo of Romulean belly dancers covered in glitter. The man only nodded and gave a look to the others who started progressively leaving the room. You could say anything about him, but he certainly knew how to gain the respect of a crew. He didn't even need to voice an order for them to know what they had to do. That was one of the things our undercover agent always tried to highlight in his reports to save his case a bit. Finally, everyone had left. The Captain was gazing at the wall.

"What is it?" he said finally

"Why me?"

"Like I said, I need a skilled engineer and I trust you."

"I'm a cadet and I have been here for three weeks. Most of the other engineers have been working with you for two years. Captain, with all due respect, it makes no sense."

At this point, he turned in his chair towards Walding. He looked dead serious. Actually, it was the first time Spock had ever seen him looking that serious.

"I'm going to tell you something Dave. But it is confidential information and it needs to stay between us, ok?"

He pushed his hair back and let out a strange sigh.

"There's a snitch on the ship. I'm sure of it. A friend of mine back at Federation Central confirmed my intuition. I've been thinking they were watching me for months. You've only been here for a few weeks, it would be too obvious, therefore you are the only one I can really trust. The girl you replaced… I thought it was her. Turns out it wasn't."

Spock's eyes had widened a bit but outside of that he didn't look distressed by the information. Yet he was. If he knew about this and knew people at FC, it wouldn't be long before he figured everything out. Who was it he knew there? Anyone he knew himself?

"You do remember the movie party back when you got here?" He nodded. "Well, I confronted Hamza about this, I suspected him, I had a lot to drink, so I accused him of it and he got angry at me."

Spock remembered very well the explanation drunk Chekov had given to him : that Hamza was romantically interested in Jim. He wasn't sure it was true now, given Kirk's explanation. It could, still. Spock figured being accused of such a thing by someone you admire, or well, have feelings for, would be quite devastating. It was surely wrong for the Captain to make accusations like this, pointing his finger at someone without any proof, but if he was drunk…

The Vulcan didn't know what to do. It was certainly bad for him. How long would he get before being discovered? He was sure now he had to accept going on the mission : it was probably his only hope of seeing how the Captain managed field action before everyone found out about him.

"Fine. I'll go." he said calmly, his hand resting on the table. "But I do have one condition, if I may, Sir."

"What is it?" he answered, seeming relieved already that he had accepted

"I think Scotty should be with us. She's trustworthy, I know as I have been closely working with her for the past few weeks. She should make up for my lack of capability."

He agreed, without any words, which was odd for a man who, at times, couldn't seem able to stop talking. He definitely was worried, an emotion that did not suit him well. Our undercover agent was feeling himself grow worried too, in return, though not for the same reason. Since the beginning, he had accepted his fate : he would be discovered at one point. Now he somehow feared being discovered, or more exactly he feared the Captain's reaction. He hoped tomorrow would not be the day he would see that.


	6. Electricity

"En route !" declared Kirk with a grin, a few seconds after they'd left the ship in their exploration vessel.

Scotty was paying close attention to her console, Spock was trying his best to pay as much attention to his own, though his mind was occupied by many other thoughts. He had discussed the whole matter with Dox the night before, and Dox had explained he was worried about the field mission. Dox being worried about anything at all was surely a red flag. He had told Spock repeatedly he needed to proceed with caution and protect his identity at any cost, Spock had promised him he would, though he wasn't sure it was the right mindset to think about himself first in case of danger.

"How long exactly will it take to get there ?" the Captain asked Scotty, though he knew how long, probably just to make small talk

"Twenty minutes, Captain."

Kirk seemed to relax, and the chief engineer too, as the trajectory seemed fine. It would be a very boring twenty minutes as nothing extraordinary would ever happen in such a dull part of space. They just couldn't get more close with the ship because of the electric activity going on the planet they were visiting, they thought it would affect communications with Starfleet or the ship's circuits in general. They just had to remain careful about the electrical activity of the vessel.

"Hae got dried meat if anyain wants." said Scotty, which caused Spock to turn his chair in her direction

"No thanks, and I believe David doesn't like meat." the Captain replied immediately

The chief engineer gave him a strange look in return and then turned her gaze to Spock. She seemed to be wondering how and why he knew that about him. She didn't know they had been spending some evenings together discussing various topics. Spock gave her a look that meant she didn't need, she shouldn't, dive deeper into this. And of course, to her that was an invitation. She liked to tease him about his secret identity in private, so she certainly wouldn't miss an occasion to refer to it in presence of Kirk, playing a dangerous game Spock didn't like.

"Wow, Captain, ye sure saim to know a lot aboot David."

"I just like to know the people I work with. Little things about people, frivolous things, are what brings you to trust them. Like I know you like milk in your coffee and hate having cold feet, Scotty."

"I have been working fur ye fur two years, nae David."

"No offense intended, Cadet" he said, briefly turning in his chair towards him then looking at Scotty again. "David has odd traits that intrigue me."

"I loch tae think they are vulcan-y." Scotty said with a laugh, winking at Spock like she was making an inoffensive private joke.

He felt immediately uneasy and desperately wanted to disappear. His heart was pounding, awaiting a reaction from Jim and hoping it wouldn't be a sudden revelation for him. He could've made a joke to appear at ease, Dox would've told him to say something witty like "oh please I hope I am nothing like these stuck-ups Vulcans". He was incapable of that of course and pretended like something was suddenly happening on his screen. However, Jim only responded with genuine laughter.

"Exactly! That's a good one." he replied, putting his hand on her shoulder. "He would make a great Vulcan."

She laughed again -she had an insufferable laugh, though Spock didn't really care and had gotten used to it with time. Then she tried to push him to react, which caused him to feel as if she was pointing a phaser at his head. He felt betrayed.

"What do ye say David? Ye're silent suddenly."

Feeling the Captain's gaze on him, he felt compelled to turn around in his chair and face them. He had to say something. But what could he say, really?

"Though they are a very respectable species, Sir, I am afraid I am nothing like them."

While trying to defend himself, he had just spoken in the most Vulcan tone conceivable. This conversation caught him off guard completely. What could he say to prove himself? Did he even have to? He wasn't sure. And not being sure was a feeling he hated.

"Well first of all I…" He froze.

The entire vessel started shaking with such force that everyone was forced to grab onto something to avoid falling down, which the Captain and Spock did but not Scotty who violently fell from her chair and landed on her butt. She had the time to laugh slightly before the real wave hit the vessel. This time, it was completely flipped upside down for a few seconds. Scotty didn't have time to get up and slid down rapidly to the other side. The two men, to busy trying themselves to buckle up and not fall, only heard a heavy sound behind them. Kirk then managed to flip back the vessel to its normal position and control it.

"What was that ?" He said, partly to himself.

However, he was back into control only for a few seconds, before all the consoles started making a terrible hissing sound and they had to cover their ears. They lit up in a sort of blue halo and Spock turned his head towards the Captain, intrigued. Just after the blue light, they heard a terrible scream coming from behind them. When they turned around, they saw Scotty with one hand on the console, her eyes opened wide, and from her mouth, that dreadful scream. Her whole body was stiff, as if she has been struck with Earth lightning.

"Don't touch anything David !" Kirk said fiercely, grabbing his arms to push him towards the ground.

He held them both together on the ground with such force that Spock was barely able to breathe, and they waited there for a good two minutes, bombarded with the hissing of the consoles, their breathing, but not the screaming of Scotty which had stopped. After a moment, the consoles stopped making noises, and everything fell deadly silent. The two men slightly lifted their head, looked at each other for an instant, then rapidly crawled to the other side of the vessel. Near where they has last seen her, Scotty laid on the ground, her face terribly pale and foam coming from her mouth.

"No !" Screamed Kirk, his face also suddenly pale, though not for the same reason.

Spock didn't have any reaction on the spot. He sat and rested his head on the chair behind him, panting. He didn't know what to do exactly with his emotions. His ability to hinder them fell short in such circumstances, no matter how hard he had trained to. He felt suddenly so in touch with his human side that he felt he was indeed David, the clueless and loyal human cadet, his new friend looking dead in front of him for no reason and with no warning. As he lifted his eyes towards the Captain, or as he wanted to say in this moment, his Captain, he realized Kirk was crying silently, grasping the inanimate body. After that moment where he couldn't think properly, feeling like ten minutes had passed though really it was seconds, Spock got up and sat in front of the nearest console. He tried to evaluate the damage made to the machinery and change the settings so a sudden surge of power coming from the outside could not affect them again. While he immersed himself in manipulating the console, he heard only slight noises behind him. After a few minutes, he felt a presence just behind him and heard Kirk's voice very next to his ear, not loud yet authoritative.

"What exactly do you think you're doing, Cadet ?" Kirk never called him that, he thought it strange.

"I managed to get us back on track the electrical surge hasn't impacted the machine so much it would be dangerous. I just don't think the rockets will work but I don't think we'll find ourselves in battle. We'll be landing in three minutes and I think we can get the necessary samples and informations in five or ten minutes. We should be back on the ship in half an hour. I'll call the Enterprise and tell them we're..."

"Going back right now." Kirk cut him short and opened his com. "Kirk to Enterprise, we are heading back from the field mission. Scott was electrocuted, it might've been lethal, we will need the medical crew urgently upon arrival."

Spock turned in his chair and didn't react or said anything, his eyes simply laid on Scott's body.

A tension stayed in the air for the entire time until they got back to the ship. As soon as the doors opened, a medical crew ushered into the cabin, let by a dark-haired man that Spock immediately recognized from the academy as Leonard McCoy. He knew he was on the ship but had been carefully avoiding him. There he was now, looking straight into his eyes, puzzled. He could not possibly recognize him with this wig, but it did seem like he felt uneasy looking at him. Instead, he went towards the Captain and put an affectionate hand on his shoulder, slightly nodding as if to say "it's gonna be okay". He then quickly ran back to the medical crew. As Kirk motioned to leave, Spock stopped him by saying loudly :

"Captain, I was simply trying to fulfill my duty to Starfleet."

"You're insane David." Kirk simply said, exiting the vessel right after.


	7. Failings

Spock barely left his quarters for two days after everything happened. He kept walking around, reporting to Dox, walking around, thinking about how he was supposed to handle the situation. He wasn't asked to go back to engineering in that time and he just assumed he was suspended for the time being. In fact, he hadn't heard anything from the Captain. His words had hurt him much more than he anticipated, even after ruminating for two days he could not get it out of his head. He and Kirk had grown accustomed to each other, had even begun a friendship of some sort, playing chess late at night, Kirk coming to engineering to crack a few jokes with Scotty and him, forcing him to call him Jim. The fact that he decided to take Spock, well, to take David Walding, on the mission instead of anyone else on this ship because he was the only one he felt he could trust. Yes, that was due to a misunderstanding on his part and purely induced by timing, but still, it had felt important. In fact, the more he realized how different he and the man were, how loud and obnoxious, how caring and brave he was compared to him ; the more he felt like there was something unique about them coming together. But of course, this was all a lie. Something started to climb its way up Spock's head. He wondered if he should come clean after all. He would be off the ship and considering his reports Kirk probably would be off command for a while. Maybe it was the only option left. He had enough of this anyways.

Spock readjusted his uniform, feeling a weight on his heart as he looked at the time. It would soon be time for the funeral. They weren't able to heal Scotty enough to stabilize her back to consciousness, though they tried an entire day and a night. What happened was terrible, she was a valued member of the crew. It was so sudden, the missions wasn't supposed to be a dangerous one, it was yet one more dark line on Jim Kirk's file, though Spock could testify that he couldn't know, that it wasn't anyone's fault really. Spock heard his quarter door ringing and, after taking a second to check his human appearance and the things lying around, said to come in. The Captain was at the door and ceremoniously walked into the room with his hands behind his back. His head was slightly bent down, looking at the floor, which was very unusual behaviour for him, Spock noted.

"Hello, Cadet"

"Hello, Captain."

This felt like the most polite exchange they ever had which, at the state of their relationship and considering Jim's usually laid-back manners, felt deeply awkward to the both of them. The Captain finally lifted his head to look at David. That is when David noticed his terribly sad gaze, on the verge of tears. He didn't really have time to ask anything, Kirk had fallen into his arms, hugging him. Spock immediately went stiff at the gesture and, not knowing what to do, simply slightly lifted his hands. He felt uncomfortable, for sure, as no one in his entire life at ever held him like this, except maybe his mother, but at the same time he felt ease. In a way, it was perfectly right. After a moment, Jim backed away, keeping their faces an inch from each other. He looked so deeply in Spock's eyes that the vulcan feared he would… that he would… He knew humans, he was no fool. He could actually very clearly feel at this instant this part of him aching for exactly that. Before he could back away, the Captain did, and went to sit on the bed, his head in his palms.

"I can't do that speech. This is all my fault." he said, calmly, in a tone that was entirely new to Spock.

"I should've detected that electric field more accurately. It was our job."

"I'm sorry for the way I acted." he continued, almost like David hadn't said anything. "Not for what I said, that I stand by, but for the way I said it."

"I apprecia-"

"No let me talk David."

Spock was not used to being cut off in this way. It definitely felt like Jim had a lot on his chest, he probably, like him, had been thinking about this for the past couple of days.

"You must think I'm silly. I do and say stupid shit to make people laugh, I wear slippers on the bridge and it is known on this ship that I tend to… get much too close to people too quickly… if you know what I mean."

He believed he knew what he meant, yes.

"But when it comes to duty I never… I never want to be silly. I never want to fail. And I did. I failed. I failed her."

He remained silent for a long moment, while Spock was still standing in front of him, quite stiff, processing. Never had he looked more far away from a human. A human would've taken a step towards Jim, put a hand on his shoulder, reassured him, told him it would be okay. Spock knew it wouldn't, he knew the Captain was in real trouble, and he knew that because he was mostly the reason. Yet, he found touching to see him so vulnerable. Everyone knew the funny and eccentric side of him, but suddenly he accessed another side. Rationally, he knew that wasn't something usual, that it was special, that it signifies how comfortable he was. And two distinct emotions crept into him, far away into him, in a corner of his brain. The first one was profound sympathy for Jim, and maybe… maybe even deeper than sympathy, though he could not put a finger on it. The second one was guilt, terrible, crippling guilt. This person Jim liked and trusted so much wasn't him, not really, and soon enough he would know. And hate himself even more for failing again, and getting attached again. If Spock had been entirely human, or used that type of language at all, the word that would come to his mind at this moment is : Fuck.

Realizing he had not said anything for a little while and the Captain was still lost in thought, the undercover Cadet brushed his uniform with the palm of his hand and cleared his throat.

"If you allow me, Sir, I believe it is time for us to leave for the ceremony."

Just like that, without commenting on anything. He couldn't. Anything he would've try to say would've sounded grey, bland, insensible, inhuman. Jim stood up and rubbed his hands on his face like trying to wake up. He looked in Spock's eyes, surprised but glad he didn't say anything more, as he just needed to vent.

"You're right."

The Captain had made a few steps towards him, and he nodded before taking Spock's left hand with his right hand, squeezing it for a few seconds or two. Not in the way he would shake it, but slowly, tenderly. The Vulcan tried very hard not to react and keep still, but his heart was racing. Thanks heaven he couldn't blush. Kirk's hand then slowly lifted to David's neck, that he slowly brushed with his fingers before coming to his senses.

"Let's go."

Oh, how Spock wishes the circumstances were different. How he wishes he could just allow himself to…

"We are assembled here today to pay our final respects to Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott. We all loved her. She was a true asset to our crew. A great engineer. A wonderful woman. A true friend. And she would hate me for saying such boring and cheesy things at this moment, she would probably yell "wack" and laugh."

The assembly laughed quietly.

"We will all miss her laugh, her energy and her overuse of emojis. We love you very much, Scotty."

Bagpipes started playing and the coffin slowly exited the room, in absolute silence. A few crew-members were weeping discreetly, Jim's eyes were shining even though he forced himself to stay dignified. Spock had never had a more serious look on his face ever, and that was saying something. Even when the coffin had exited the ship, everyone remained still for a moment. It felt as though no one would ever start moving again, until Chekov took matters in his own hands.

"You can all prozeed to ze deck five rec room vere ze wake vill be held."

Everyone left quite silently, though bits of chatter were starting to emerge. David waited for a moment, has he had to admit he still had his gaze fixed on Kirk, who did not move one bit, looking in the distance. He started to walk in his direction before a hand stopped him. A hand in medical uniform. He lifted his eyes to stare at Leonard McCoy. They were definitely not friends, at the academy, but knew each other way too well, they had had a rivalry of sorts. Spock looked behind his shoulder to see that everyone had now exited the room, even the Captain. Then he saw that McCoy was holding a medical scanner in his direction. There was no use trying to stop it. There was anger in his eyes after he read the scanner.

"I knew it." he said, visibly to himself.

Then, with a smirk that was both angry and sarcastic, he said a little too casually:

"How is it going for you these days? You know, I would recognize the stick up your ass from miles away, my dear Spock."


End file.
